Dear Andie,

There’s this girl, let’s call her Lily, who’s freakishly obsessed with me and it sort of makes me uncomfortable. How should I deal with her?

Dear Seeking Distance,

It’s normal to feel a little bit uncomfortable. In a situation like this, someone like Lily might not have a lot of other people to go to, which may be the reason she ends up going to you. The best thing I’d recommend is to set boundaries. Be obvious with her, keep your conversations short, try your best not to show as much enthusiasm in your responses, and don’t engage as much in conversations. You don’t have to be rude or mean, just be straightforward.

If you’ve already tried those things, just cut off your responses. Other than in-person conversations, where you can just be dry, make it clear you are not open to having many interactions. Make sure you’re not accidentally giving mixed signals by starting conversations yourself, because this may cause confusion and contradict your point.

As a last resort, go straight to Lily and let her know you don’t want any type of relationship with her. Just be clear and obvious about what you want out of your relationship with Lily and what boundaries you value in the friendship.